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From the age of four, I was taught English by a Keralite (a person from the state of Kerala, India) lady. I was corporally punished for each mistake I committed. Somehow, subconsciously I had developed these winds that gained crescendo for negative bias toward keralites because of the twelve years of physical and mental abuse I faced. As Hanson (n.d) mentions,“The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones.” As I chose to pursue Masters in Tamil Nadu (neighboring State of Kerala) University. I assumed it would be full of tamil students but I was mistaken, as many keralite students had enrolled too. Since access to the hostel was delayed by a few days, arrangements were made for me to stay at someone’s home who happened to be a keralite. I would avoid talking to the hosts, ate dinner in my room just because I hated anyone remotely associated with Kerala. I left without even thanking the hosts for their hospitality.When all other factors are held constant, bad is stronger than good (Norris, 2021). During the hostel orientation, my aunt introduced me to a girl who was enrolled in the same course that I was pursuing. She was one of the best personalities I ever came across. After my aunt left for home, I had just one friend to rely on, get along with, confide in, gossip and everything felt better when she was around.
As I cruised through my course, I realized she too is a keralite. I was infuriated. I decided to break all ties with her, but as I scrolled through the previous year memories, I realized it was the best year of my life. When I finally got clarity about my negative bias I had toward keralites that stopped me from mingling with them, just because they come from a particular state, spoke a different language and had a different culture. My friend has been my meilleur amie for ten years and counting. I have learned to constantly introspect about the negative biases I have in me because, in the end, what really matters is loving people, and looking past our biased judgment and that sums up to triumph of humanity, as we try to correct our biases.
References
Hanson, R (n.d). Taking in the Good vs. The Negativity Bias, Do Positive Experiences “Stick to your Ribs?” https://www.rickhanson.net/taking-in-the-good-vs-the-negativity-bias/
Norris, C. J. (2021). The negativity bias, revisited: Evidence from neuroscience measures and an individual differences approach. Social Neuroscience, 16(1), 68–82. https://doi-org.ezproxy.tru.ca/10.1080/17470919.2019.1696225
Thank you for sharing. What a touching and meaningful story! I can feel that your prejudice against Kerala comes from unpleasant childhood experiences. In fact, we are always affected by prejudice. We tend to label others to facilitate our understanding of the world. However, society and people are complex. Prejudice will narrow our thinking, so it is important to learn how to explore the world around us. Your story is very inspiring and reminds me of my experience. For example, in Chinese education, we call countries such as Japan and the United States capitalist countries, and are taught that capitalism will inevitably perish. Seeing a richer world will help us not be blinded.
What an emotional reflection Shweta. Negative experiences can truly make us unfairly judge others. It’s important to look past our bias and get to know people for who they are, rather than where they come from and the likes. By so doing, we can form meaningful and lasting relationships and overcome our prejudices. Thank you for sharing this insightful piece.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, Shweta. Your negative experience from one person clouded your judgment, and you generalized your negative feelings on others from the same group even though you may have had a posive relationship with them. I hope being aware of the negativity bias will help you see through your negative biases and look at the positive in people no matter their cultural background.