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Overcoming Negativity and Building Empathy
In my previous role as an elementary school head teacher, I’ve encountered situations where parents express negativity. It’s tough not to let it affect me. When things don’t go as expected, I tend to feel down. But I’ve learned that focusing on the good stuff helps me bounce back.
Sometimes, parents say things that really get to me. It’s like my brain zooms in on the bad stuff, making it hard to see the positives. But I remind myself that life is full of ups and downs. This helps me stay positive and keep moving forward.
I’ve also realized the power of empathy. When parents are upset, it’s easy to take it personally. But I’ve learned to put myself in their shoes. Maybe they’re just worried about their child’s well-being.
Understanding how our brains work has been a game-changer for me. I’ve learned that our brains are wired to focus more on negative experiences. According to Hanson (n.d), this negativity bias is a survival mechanism inherited from our ancestors. It causes us to dwell on negative experiences more than positive ones. Knowing this helps me challenge those negative thoughts and focus on the good stuff instead.
Additionally, Goleman (2006) explored the concept of mirror neurons in his work. Mirror neurons fire not only when we perform an action but also when we observe someone else doing the same. Understanding this mechanism has helped me connect with others on a deeper level. When I understand where someone else is coming from, it helps me build a stronger connection with them.
So, as I continue on my journey, I’m focusing on overcoming negativity and building empathy. It’s not always easy, but I’m learning that by challenging negative thoughts, understanding others’ perspectives, and applying insights from Hanson (n.d) and Goleman (2006), I can foster deeper connections and make a positive impact on those around me.
References
Hanson, R. (n.d.). Taking in the Good vs. the Negativity Bias. San Francisco State University.
Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. Bantam Books.
I could resonate your feelings completely. After hearing complaints from parents and enduring administrative pressure, I used to feel horrible too. Living up to everyone’s expectations is difficult for educators. During this phase, I used to often overlook affection and warm gestures from my students. I realize it now that I remember bad experiences and tend to forget good ones. I used to frequently overlook my students’ sweet remarks and affectionate gestures. I recognize that I tend to remember negative experiences while forgetting positive ones. Now, I am aware of this fact that human brain often overlooks pleasant notions. Hence, I try to practice thankfulness and self-positive talks to stay motivated and maintain loving my profession.
I understand what you said about the unpleasantness in the communication process with parents. As educators, we inevitably need to communicate with parents. However, we often encounter some parents who express their negative emotions, such as anxiety, dissatisfaction or even anger. In the face of this situation, I think we need to remain calm. Our original intention and that of the parents are for the good of the children, so we can try to use empathy to understand the parents’ emotions and propose solutions.
Excellent discussion on the negativity bias and positive communication. Yes, we often focus on the negative, and that is usually what we remember at the end of the day. However, we can change that inner narrative by consciously focusing on the positive. Remembering three good things at the end of the day can help our brain focus on the positive. Understanding our mirror neurons allow us to make conscious decisions not to show negative emotions when in dialogue with parents. This can lead to a negative spiral of communication with blaming and criticizing. Trying to maintain positive emotions in the face of negative ones is a game changer and can lead to positive communication with parents. It is a challenge maintaining positivity in the face of negative emotions, but it is possible 🙂