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The value of compassion lies in creating a balanced life, especially inner balance. In many cultures, negative emotions are seen as something that should be eliminated. In fact, we need to recognize that shortcomings and difficulties are a natural part of life and should not be resisted or denied, but embraced with warmth, kindness and acceptance (Neff & Davidson, 2016).
The development of self-compassion requires mindfulness practice. According to Dr. Hanson (n.d.), “implicit memory” – your underlying expectations, beliefs, action strategies and emotions – develops in an increasingly negative direction. Without mindfulness practice, our subconscious will amplify negative emotions and continue to affect our lives.
Based on my teaching experience, in addition to the influence of implicit memory in the brain, the pressure of the external environment is also an important cause of anxiety and depression. In China, many students are required to improve their scores in all subjects, which will enable them to enter good universities. Therefore, it is easy for students to assume that their pain stems from not trying hard enough. The expansion of implicit memory and the increase in competitive pressure drive students to self-criticism and self-denial. When I saw exhausted students gradually losing interest in learning and denying themselves, I felt that such education is a failure.
The standard of “better life” should first be internal. Chinese education tends to use external standards to evaluate all aspects of students. Obviously, the method leads students to focus on external evaluation of themselves and ignore their inner needs. When education lacks attention to students’ inner selves, students never show weakness. In the end, they are more likely to become depressed and collapse when faced with setbacks. People should learn to be kind to themselves as imperfect people and learn to face the inevitable struggles in life more easily (Neff & Davidson, 2016).
Reference
Hanson, R. (n.d.). Do Positive Experiences “Stick to Your Ribs?”. Love and Life Toolbox. https://loveandlifetoolbox.com/do-positive-experiences-stick-to-your-ribs-take-in-the-good-by-rick-hanson-phd/
Neff, K., & Davidson, O. (2016). Self-compassion: Embracing suffering with kindness. In Mindfulness in positive psychology (pp. 37-50). Routledge.
Your blog serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of self-compassion and inner balance in navigating life’s challenges. Your observations regarding the external pressures faced by students in China resonate deeply. The emphasis on academic achievement and external standards often leads to heightened competition and self-criticism among students. By cultivating mindfulness, individuals can better manage their internal experiences and foster a compassionate attitude towards themselves.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the value of compassion and the impact of the educational system on students in China. I completely agree that compassion, especially self-compassion, is for creating a balanced life and embracing the difficulties that we face with an acceptance that can help us to achieve our goals.
Your experience as a teacher in China highlights the pressures students face, and see students losing interest in learning due to these pressures. I was amazed when I read how a positive environment and the introduction of self-compassion can help students know the importance of compassion by focusing on their self inner.
Our natural tendency for the negativity bias combined with being evaluated to others can lead to extreme competetiveness and self-criticism. This can undermine students’ self-worth and their resiliency to bounce back from adversity. However, with the skills of self-compassion, students can learn to accept their imperfections with kindness rather than self-criticism. This is not to “let them off the hook” but to encourage self-improvement.