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Wilding (2021) mentioned that being too harsh on ourselves is not only unproductive, but it is also difficult to break the habit of being negative. It calls for constant focus and repetition. If self-criticism gets out of control and becomes severe, it can be harmful to our mental and emotional health. To some degree of introspection and critical thinking is beneficial and required for personal development. However, self-criticism can have dire consequences if it develops into an unendingly pessimistic internal monologue. Moreover, self-criticism causes the brain to enter an inhibited state, which stops us to accomplish our objectives. In my opinion, anxiety and depression are closely associated with harsh self-criticism. Persistently dwelling on alleged shortcomings and errors may result in hopeless emotions and unhappiness.
According to Neff & Davidson (2016), the Buddhist view of happiness acknowledges that hardships and difficult situations are a normal aspect of being human and should be welcomed as opposed to turned down. Joy and pain are seen by Buddhists as repeatedly influencing one another in some way. . Mostly people, including me do negative self-talk which kills confidence. I try to practice gratitude regularly which helps me in changing my attention from perceived shortcomings to my strengths. I am an extrovert and more social, therefore, talking to my husband, friends and family members is stress buster. Everyone has someone to open up to and share their problems. It is an excellent way of expressing self-love. I try to take responsibility of the mistakes I have committed. This way I feel more relieved from stress and harsh judgment.
All I want to say that show yourself the same consideration, compassion and love that you would show a friend. This would result into improved psychological health and relationships with oneself and others.
References
Neff, K. D., & Davidson, O. (2016). Self-compassion: Embracing suffering with kindness. Journal of Positive Psychology, 37-50.
Wilding, M. (2021). Managing yourself: Stop being so hard on yourself. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself
Self-compassion feels like the opposite of that nagging inner critic. It’s about treating ourselves with kindness, even when we mess up. Research suggests this can be a game-changer for mental health, reducing anxiety and depression. Harsh self-talk can be a cycle, but gratitude and reaching out to loved ones can be powerful tools to break free. Mindfulness practices might also be helpful. Maybe self-compassion is the key to finally feeling good about ourselves, flaws and all.
Yogita, I completely resonate with your thoughts on self-criticism and its impacts. I agree that while some level of introspection is necessary for personal growth, excessive self-criticism can indeed lead to anxiety and depression. Your practice of gratitude and seeking support from loved ones is commendable. As an introvert, I find solace in quiet reflection and mindfulness practices, which help me counter negative self-talk. It’s crucial to balance self-improvement with self-compassion. Like you mentioned, treating ourselves with the same kindness we offer others can significantly enhance our mental health and relationships. Thank you for sharing your insights and strategies.
You made an excellent point on when self-criticism is repeated, it can be ingrained into our self-concept. As they say, the neurons that fire together wire together. The negativity bias makes us focus on the negative, so changing the inner narrative through gratitude practice can change our mindset to be more self-compassionate rather than self-critical.